I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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