Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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