You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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