we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
