I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize