So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
