is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
