how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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