I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's shark week go big or go home
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
