This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
