Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
