omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
