Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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