me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
