Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
