I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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