yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
