LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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