the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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