the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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