i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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