I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
