i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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