Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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