i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize