We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
