He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
