Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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