i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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