I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize