I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
