Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
