Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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