Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.

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(216): View more from Ohio

So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back

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(614): View more from Ohio

how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.

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(850): View more from Florida

My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?

(1-850): View more from Florida

It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?

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(248): View more from Michigan

He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.

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(213): View more from California

hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"

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(519): View more from Ontario

I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?

(1-501): View more from Arkansas

The priest.

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