Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It's never too late to be topless.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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