i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
