And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
