I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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