I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
