He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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