I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
