Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
