Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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