Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
