this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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