Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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