No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize