grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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