I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize