Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
