need another drink. this is the easiest way
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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