The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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