i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
