just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
