Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
