My sheets look like a crime scene.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
