My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize